Death to all ye hipster scum!

Hipsters appear to be harmless creatures on the surface, but few know of their true origins.  Until now.  In the early 1940s during the rise of Hitler in Germany several teenaged boys in the Hitler Youth were selected for a special program that would ensure the security of Fascism as the primary ideology in the world for generations to come.  

The boys were taken to a private training facility in the Swiss alps, and systematically brainwashed using techniques that would later be tested in the little known CIA endeavor MKULTRA.  The boys were beaten, tested, beaten and the tested again.  They were systematically raped by the Fuhrer himself until they believed themselves to actually be homosexuals.  Finally, they were taught the principles of all communist revolutionaries and leaders in history, given copious amounts of marijuana, and released into the liberal arts colleges of the United States.  

Hitler believed that communism would eventually be an even bigger threat to fascism than the allied powers.  His plan we to create a generation of liberal idealists to infiltrate American society and turn the Americans against the communists and in a sense create an unlikely ally.  Unfortunately for him, the American's had other plans.  However, the hipsters were already in place, and even to this day they continue to spread their communist ideology amongst American youth.  

Today the original hipsters are gone, but what was started nearly seventy years ago continues on to this day as the rebellious nature of the hipster was specifically formulated to appeal to American youth, and continues to do so.  

Ironically the irony that hipsters so love to point out is truly the greatest irony of all since their entire lives are perhaps the most extraordinary irony since irony was invented.